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ThoughtsIt's all for fun...
But you have a girlfriend,
I don't understand.
Then i hear that you are single.
Yay, MAY have a chance with you.
No, you changed your mind.
You love her too much to break up with her...
WHY SAY ANYTHING IN THE FIRST PLACE IF YOU'RE GOING TO CHANGE YOUR MIND!
I like you, i really do. You are such a great person..
Well thats what i thought until i started to realise some things.
I'm not upset because you said those things,
I'm not upset because you said it's all for fun,
I'm not upset because you're a great person,
I'm not upset because the girls are giving me a hard time about you.
I'm upset for believing that i like someone again.
My heart feels like its been permantly broken,
Not because of you,
Because of something else that is annoying me.
I'm sorry to take it out on you,
It's not your fault.
But one's mind can change instantly and i am thinking differently of you.
I am now once confused and i dont know if i like you more than a friend.
Feeling sick, once again,
Confusion Part 2.As the answer arrives,
I read it word for word.
Muddled up pictures,
All run through my head.
He says he doesnt have feelings for me or my friend,
All this playing around is just for a little fun.
This Friend of mine whom i talk about it with,
She tells me that what they did one night,
Was pretty much what we did on another night.
I feel sad when i hear it,
Yet happy for her cause i love her.
I feel like a play buddy that he got bored with
And now he has moved on with another toy.
No i'm not angry, i'm not upset any more.
I feel sick in the inside,
And can't really eat anything.
Why does life have to be so hard?
I keep asking these questions,
But all i want is to be happy.
Someone else tells me they love me,
But do they really?
Someone else tells me that they wont love for awhile,
And aren't looking for a girlfriend...
The next week, "I Heart Luci" on his MSN nickname..
My heart breaks once again once i had heard that.
I feel like dying, but i don't want to be Grant and
Confusion Part 1.Don't know what to do?
Feeling lonely and lost.
Confused on whether i have feelings or not,
Or whether i should love again.
Jealously is a key when i hear that my friend has done something with him.
I dont know what to think,
But i can't get him out of my head.
Would i ever actually have a chance with him?
Or am I just a play buddy?
I don't know what to do,
I cant show my real emotions n front of everyone.
Cause they might start thinking that I may have real feelings for this boy.
It feels so good to know that there may be someone down the road for you,
But knwoing that this guy is kinda cheating on his girlfriend,
That also gets me thinking.
Whether he gets bored really easily or he is just not loyal.
This all runs through my head,
And is driving me insane.
I think I will ask him about his feelings and wait for the answer.
Have i got my hopes up to quickly?
I've known him for 2 weeks now and feel like i have feelings for him.
Why would someone like me?
I don't have a nice body,
The Coffee GodThe Coffee God behind the counter shuffles foot to foot, a dance of steam and espresso. Black painted fingernails, inch gauged ears and a gray striped sweatshirt, hood crooked on his back. There's a cigarette tucked behind one ear; it bobs and twitches with each step.
“Non-fat caramel latte,” he calls, just as he always does, part of a spell, part of a mantra, toneless (just a tuck at the end). I reach. He looks up.
The espresso maker hisses.
There's something like a grin, something like a spark, something like a shared secret linked eye to eye. When he passes over the drink (rough cardboard sleeve hot to the touch), he lingers. Our fingers brush, a shiver, a jolt, a ten-watt shock.
The Coffee God tilts his chin, shouts, “Hey, mind if I take my break now?”
and ducks around the counter without waiting for a reply.
He slips his cigarette between his lips without taking his eyes from mine. I follow him out the door.
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