maybe i should be like, alot more opened minded about things..
and think out side the square alot more.

Im not going to convert, as i still have my own beliefs, but,
thinking about the future, and what it really brings..
or more, what it will bring.

when i think about it, ive wasted my life.
i havnt taken alot of chances.
i havnt learnt from a few things and experiences.
i guess it isnt too late, but im more mature now, and need to grow up,

theres things i wanna say to a certain someone, but i dont know how..
and i dont know if i could bring myself to do it.
i have all this anger in me, that i need to realeese.....oh god i forgot how to spell..any hoo, yeah, to him, but i cant, cause it would make things worse.
so i really dont know what to do.
but if i leave it too late, i know ill regret it...
i had written the ’original’ letter for him, which explains half my anger towards him...

i guess i have been sheltered from life..
and only exposed to one thing...
anger and drugs.
which is terrible for any kid to go through..

i think about the past, and wonder what if?
what if i had those things other kids had?
what if i had a wealthy family?
what if i had that perfect family?

im now 18, and it still affects me like an 8 year old.

dont know what to do.
i cant turn to the one person i usually go to..
maybe i should call the closest person i have...

what do you think??